How to Feel Good When you Feel Bad/ photo copyright Jo Davidson

How to Feel Good When you Feel Bad

I am learning something pretty big.
I use to think that when I did something or felt something that I either regretted or didn't want to feel, I had to get rid of it. 

But now, in the midst of any struggle whatever it is,if I am going through something that feels awful, I DON'T try to make that awful thing go away in order to be positive.

It doesn't work like that. I get it now!

Why does the world have this upside down?

I have found that my way out, is to co-exist with the thing, the hard feelings, the whatever it is. Just co-exist. And along side of that co-existence, without denying my reality or feelings, also count my blessings, refocus on what I love, anything that gives me pleasure or makes me feel GOOD. Not as a way to deny the other stuff. But as a way to get tapped into the bigger picture and into a flow that feels good to me.

It works, and the ONLY reason it works is that acceptance is a huge part of it. If I am sinking, I let myself sink along side of my gratitude. I LET BOTH THINGS HAPPEN AT ONCE. Somehow then the gratitude and also doing what I love, helps me float eventually (not always immediately). Patience. Trust. Consistency. Keep thinking a thought that feels good. Then suddenly, I find I am floating. Then if I float long enough, I actually feel better. I can rest. I can be. 

Hey, floating is alot easier than treading water and definately easier than fighting the waves.

It helps me if I accept where I am and am gentle with myself instead of beating myself up for whatever. 

Acceptance is a part of moving forward. I don't think we move forward by fighting what is.

I don't have to deny any part of myself in order to feel gratitude or feel a good thought. I don't have to cut any part of myself out. All the parts of me can co-exist together.

The more I do what I love, the harder it is to feel bad. But if I do feel bad, I just keep breathing, floating, thinking a good thought and riding it out because THIS TOO SHALL PASS.

I've got a very cool saying on my refrigerator. I have no idea who wrote it and I don't remember what magazine or book it came from. But it has been a very powerful help for me through all sorts of ups and down.

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"Feeling bad won't make the situation better. You'll discover that the only thing feeling bad accomplishes in response to outer situations is to plummet you into anxiety, despair, depression and stress.

Instead, ask your in that moment what thought you can have that will make you feel good."

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The words on my refrigerator are words that I pass so many times a day, and read them so often. The simple thing of seeing them over and over, makes them sink in. It's the power of my own advertising to myself. I like that. I like that I can help myself create an inspiring home, a place where I can help myself grow and step into new ways of being that will work for me rather than against me.

The power of what I let into my mind is huge.

The other thing I do, (this is how I re focus my angst), is take pictures and write songs. Photography is a lifeline for me. I love photographing flowers and landscapes. I took a walk today and photographed so many flowers up close. It's like a meditation for me.

So is music. The great thing about having so many creative avenues, is that when one is closed temporarily, you just take the other road. There are many ways to cope and creativity is something that oozes out of me. I feel the most alive when I am being creative.

Today I sat out in the sun down at the shore and painted. I found a piece of wood that I painted in greens, blues and a touch of beige. Then I posted words on it that say "A Place for Inspiration" and drew a butterfly on the far end of it. Now it is sitting in my window.

Today I also sold a bunch of my photos, including one of a very erotic looking red tulip. And I wrote a verse to a new song that I wrote music to the other day.

There are sometimes in life when more things seems possible than at other times. There are sometimes in life when I am up and sometimes when I am way down. 
The thing is to create from everything. Nothing is wasted. 

Whatever happens, whatever I feel at any given moment and for whatever reason, I will keep going back to the words on my refrigerator-

"Feeling bad won't make the situation better. You'll discover that the only thing feeling bad accomplishes in response to outer situations is to plummet you into anxiety, despair, depression and stress.

Instead, ask your in that moment what thought you can have that will make you feel good."

And I will co-exist with these words and whatever else is going on.

This keeps me honest and real.

Life is meant to be a little messy.